What makes a situation sexual is not first a matter of the body or of gestures, but of the meaning we give them. Desire, pleasure, consent and power: BDSM makes visible what every sexuality already holds.
Conscious submission is a freely chosen way of inhabiting a power relationship, in which one person relinquishes part of their control without ever surrendering themselves, and remains free to reclaim what they have granted. It is not self-erasure. It is a way of inhabiting the connection.
Conscious domination is a freely consented power relationship, in which one person's authority exists only because the other chooses to grant it — and can take it back at any moment. It is not a practice. It is a way of thinking about connection.